"You must have dyed you hair Dad," the son said. "It´s the same colour as Mum´s, only much dirtier looking."
"Of course he´s dyed it!" the mother cried. "It can´t change colour all by itself! What on earth were you trying to do, make yourself look handsome or something? You look like someone´s grandmother gone wrong!"
"School teachers suffer a good deal from having to listen to this sort of twaddle from proud parents, but they ussually get their own back when the time comes to write the end-of-term reports. If I were a teacher I would cook up some real scorchers for the children of doting parents. [...] A particularly posionous little girl might sting me into saying: 'Fiona has the same glacial beauty as an iceberg. But unlike the iceberg, she has absolutely nothing below the surface.' I think I might enjoy writing end-of-term reports for the stinkers in my class.
An epicure dining at crewe
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Cried the waiter 'Don´t shout
And wave it about
Or the rest will be wanting one too
"You have put a... a... a crocodile in my drinking water!" the Trunchball yelled back. "There is no worse crime in the world against a headmistress!"
"You chose books and I chose looks", Mrs. Wormwood said. "And who´s finishing better off? Me, of course. I´m sitting pretty in a nice house with a sucessful businessman and you´re left slaving away teaching a lot of nasty little children the ABC:"
"Quite right, sugar-plum," Mr. Wormwood said, casting a look of such simpering sloppiness at his wife, it would have made a cat sick.
"We may be small, but we´re quite tough!"
"Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy, it´s unbelievable!"
"Spell what you idiot. Spell the word "what"!
"W...O...T." Eric siad, answering to quickly.
There was a nasty silence.
"You were wrong!" the trunchball barked. "In fact you strike me as the sort of poisonous little pockmark that will always be wrong! You sit wrong! You look wrong! You speak wrong! You are wrong all round!"
"You can rely on us", Lavender said, making her height of three feet two inches stretch as tall as possible.
"No, I can´t." Hortensia said."You´re only shrimps. But you never know. We may find a use for you one day in some undercover job."
Matilda decided that every time her father or her mother was beastly to her, she would get her own bak in one way or another. A small victory would help her to tolerate their idiocies and would stop her from going crazy. You must remeber, that she was still hardly five years old and it is not easy for somebody as small as that to score points at an all-powerful grown-up. Even though, she was determined to have a go.
*Alle Zeichnungen sind von Quentin Blake
die von starbucks sind leider furchtbar süß xD (finde ich jedenfalls)
AntwortenLöschenund slebstgemacht ist auch garnicht soooo schwer!